Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Power Outages, Cancer-Style

Yesterday, I heard cancer fatigue described as a "power outage."  The term hit me. That is exactly how it feels.  The fatigue hits out of the blue.  You can be quite active, and have plans to do more, when all of a sudden you just NEED to lay down, and then you're out of commission for a few hours.

I had a power outage last week, before chemo. I had had lunch with a good friend and picked up groceries on the way home.  Then I puttered for a bit.  Just when I was about to lay down for a rest, my Sweetheart asked if I could make supper early, so he and the Bean could carve the rest of the jack-o-lanterns. Uh, sure, I said. Big mistake. By the time supper was ready (and all I had to do was reheat a couple of things), I was drooping at my plate. I laid down on the couch as soon as I finished eating. I tried to read some blogs on the laptop, but my eyes kept closing. Next thing I knew, I had slept for two hours! That is a cancer power outage.

Last round, I had a mental power outage. It was the day after chemo and I had to pick the Bean up after school to take her to an appointment. I screwed things up from start to finish. I went over to a neighbour's and got into my mind that I just needed to pick Lena up at the bus stop. Sweetie called me in time to make it to the school as planned. We were to pick up a vegetable for supper on our way home. Well, we poked around the mall longer than we should have, got caught in traffic and ended up at a different grocery store than where I aimed to go. In short, we came home with a vegetable after Sweetie had finished making... and started eating supper. Neither of us was happy with the way things turned out. Bad night.

Power outages like this, mental and physical, make me worry about my ability to work in the future.  The Bean pointed out that the power outages come out of the blue, making it difficult to stick to a work schedule.  What will the future hold?

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