Wednesday 8 January 2014

A Little Good News

I got good news today on the CT scan I did late last week: stable. That's the magic word. I am relieved, more than you know. The thing is that I just don't know if I could handle hearing my cancer had spread. I could stand chemo, but not more bad news.

Mom is still in the ICU, paralysed from the neck down and unable to communicate. I try to go to the hospital every day. It isn't easy to take a day off, but I do here and there, like Monday when we had had freezing rain all night.

I expect that I will be posting very, very infrequently for the next while. That is just the way it has to be.

16 comments:

  1. dear Kate,

    I am thrilled the CT scan result was STABLE and that you are feeling so relieved.

    I read your last response to my comment about your Mom, and thank you so much for it. I just wish I could do or say something that would be of comfort. but sometimes there just are no words. but yes, another talk with the social worker might provide some insight as to what the goal (motive?) is for the doctors who are opposing your choice for life for your mom. you should not have to do battle and feel badgered when you are grieving for the many losses I know you and your family must be reeling with in the aftermath of your Mom's tragic accident.

    I will continue to send my most sincere good thoughts to offer you comfort, and for hope that whatever happens your mom will receive the best care possible. and don't shortchange yourself from being happy and celebrating your own good news.
    sending you loads of warm hugs across the ether. I hope you can FEEL them!

    much love and light,

    Karen, XOXOXO

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    1. You are so kind, Karen. The social worker at the hospital has been very helpful. You are right: there really are no words. I feel that every day. ~Kate

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  2. I'm also thrilled to read your latest scan was stable. The magic word indeed… I'm relieved with you Kate. Karen's words are calm and said so well… her sentiments echoed here.

    Please dear Kate, a day off that is not due to the freezing rain would probably do you a little good, some rest.

    Much love… always,
    Carolyn

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    1. I know, but it is hard to stay away from the hospital. I did today and than forgot my morning pills in favour of giving the newly spayed dog her medicine. I was useless all day! ~Kate

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  3. That's a wonderful little piece of news, Kate - thanks for sharing! Sending positive thoughts and prayers for more small miracles.

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    1. Thank you, Sonia. I am enjoying reading your posts, particularly about tobogganing. Stay safe on the ice. I've been afraid to go out all day. ~Kate

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  4. Hi Kate, I've been thinking of you and your family. I'm glad for your good news, but I'm sad about your mom. Keep us posted when you can. xxx

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  5. Damn. I just wrote a big long comment about how wonderful it is that you read my blog, how much fibromyalgia really does suck as does cancer, how awful it is about your mother, and all sorts of things. And then some feat of technology lost the whole damn thing before I posted it. Cancer people are not supposed to have to deal with this crap. Big hugs. Keep writing.

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  6. My heart and prayers to you and your mum and your family.

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    1. Thank you, Lucia. Mom is at St. Vincent's now. All goes well, though there has been no change to her condition. ~Kate

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  7. hi Kate, just a quick note to let you know I am thinking of you, and still sending my best thoughts and lots of big hope for you, you Mom, and your family.

    much love and light to you all,

    Karen xoxox

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  8. Thank you, Karen! Mom is stable in a nursing home now. Pressure sores are an issue, most caused by the cervical collar she must still wear. I hope the neurologist will relieve her of that when she sees him this month. We think we saw he
    ER smile a time or two, when Dad joked with her. Those smiles went a long way to lift our spirits.

    It is kind of you to think of us. I hope you are doing well too. I look for your comments on so many blogs. You bring joy and support to so many, Karen.

    ~Kate

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  9. thank you, sweet girl, for your kind and generous words. oh, a smile or two from your mom - how wonderful! it must have made all your hearts sing and, indeed, boosted your spirits. something lovely to hang onto, for sure, and to help you and your family hang onto hope. I am sorry about the pressure sores from the cervical collar and will align my hope with yours that she can soon be freed from it. I am so grateful for you taking the time to give this update. many warm and gentle hugs to you, Kate.

    much love and light,

    Karen xoxox

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  10. dear kate,

    it's just me here to let you know I am thinking of you and your Mom. I know your life is fraught with all you have to do and be there for others, and that putting your blog on hold is a must. but I do want to keep lending any support that let's you know that you are not forgotten, and that you are not alone. I hope you feel the love and concern of all your friends in the blogging community who I know feel the same way I do, and are cheering you on through the ether to keep taking good care of yourself and wishing you better days ahead,

    sending much love, light, and warm hugs,

    Karen, xoxo

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    1. Thank you, Karen. Things have been stable since Mom entered the nursing home. No infections, but more pressure sores from the c-collar, which she will have to wear until May at least. The neurosurgeon eventually explained that the problem is that her vertabrae aren't knitting back together as they should. Perhaps she should have had the surgery in December? Sigh, I don't feel we had very good communication with her doctors. So different with my experience with oncology.

      I appreciate you thinking of us. Appreciate the support.

      Kate

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