Making Memories

There will come a time when I won't be here. It may come sooner than we think. There will come a time when I am hospitalized or bedbound. How long will it last? Today, although pain and fatigue set limits that still surprise me, my focus is on making memories for my young daughter.

Since I got sick (I was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer from the beginning, after a short, steep decline), we have been to Disney World, a family wedding out West, Niagara Falls, and many family get-togethers. This summer, so far, we have been to Montreal's Jazzfest, Ottawa's Bluesfest (where my daughter performed), the Diefenbunker and several other local history museums. What I haven't done is blog.

I have missed many posts, tweets, articles and the BCSM Monday night tweet chat. I have thought of my blog and you my readers often. The day she started day camp, I even started a post about what has kept me busy... That was last month. I have just been too busy to blog. I am sorry that some of you may have been worried I was unwell. Nothing could be farther from the truth. After busy days, I have crashed on the couch in front of the television most nights. Some nights I've gone to sleep at the same time as my girl.

I may not have been active in social media, instead I have been making memories. I'm not just talking about outings and photo ops. I have been spending time with my daughter doing our special things:

• like making triple M: Mmmm Mommy's Macaroni and Cheese.
• cuddling in bed at bedtime, not to mention afternoon family cuddles.
• soft kisses before bed.
• movies and our favourite Family Channel shows.
• our secret handshake.
• reading the 39 Clues series.

It's not all sunshine and roses. At ten, my girl is developing attitude. Mommy's suggestions aren't always welcome. But there are more hugs than shouts. There are many reminders that I love her more than she can know.... until she has a child.

I have missed my social media friends. However this summer, and every day I am blessed with, I will work to make strong memories that will have to carry my girl through the depths of future grief.